My Job & a Daily Dose

Today Lance's preschool did little Mother's Day programs in each classroom.  I, of course, did not have my camera.  Who forgets to bring a camera to a preschool program?!!  Anyway, it was about ten minutes long.  The kids sang two songs, & then each gave their mom a plant and some fingerprint art.  Lance's teacher, Mrs. Smart (awesome name for a teacher), called each student up & told everyone what they loved about their mom.  Lance loves me because I let him paint everyday.  You should have seen the awe on the face of every mom in the room when they heard that.  We had heard how one little boy loved his mother because she fed him every day, and one little girl loved her mom because she was pretty, but letting your kid paint every single day?!  I bet they were thinking about what an amazing mom I must be and how they were going to go home and get out paint for the kids no matter how much they hated the mess.  And as amazing as I am (don't laugh, jerks), I had to set them all straight.  I am not that nice of a mother.  I mean, I let him paint, just not every day.  I hate worrying about the mess & then cleaning it up.  So it turns out, I am not up for Mother of the Year.  But my son loves me anyway...as long as I let him paint.

Mrs. Smart also asked the kids some questions about their moms, and I love Lance's answers. 

• My mom looks prettiest when.....she dries her hair. (I apparently should do my hair more often.)
• My mom's favorite food is.....pizza. (All the kids answered mac 'n cheese, pizza, and corn dogs.)
• She is happy when...I listen to her. (I am also happy when I have a coke & chocolate.)
• My mom is.....20.....years old. (You bet I am.)
• If my mom could go anywhere she would go to.....Toys R Us. (Most of the kids answered Costco, Walmart, and Target.)
• Her best friend is.....Grandma Home. (Which would be Grandma Holm. Although he usually refers to her as the yellow grandma.)
• Her job is.....to make things for people's birthdays.

The last one is my favorite.  Made me laugh.  And so there you have it...my job.  I bet the kids were envious of Lance's mom's job.  They were probably like, "What?!  Your mom just makes things for birthdays all the time?  And you get to paint every day? Awesome." 

Now this next part is a Daily Dose of David, as requested by my most awesome mother.

So, it's incredibly hard to wake David up once he's fallen asleep.  And if you succeed in waking him, he usually has no idea what's going on or where he is.  That usually means he spouts lots of meaningless words, phrases, thoughts, sentences, etc.  He might even be talking to you as he falls asleep, and the sentence might just gradually turn into nonsense.  Anyway, a few nights ago, he fell asleep on the couch.  I let him sleep for a while, and then I woke him up and told him to go to bed.  To which he asked, "Did you see the oval?"  I paused...thought...and said, "Huh? What oval?"  He said, "The oval! On TV?"  I told him I had no idea what he was talking about.  He said (exasperatedly), "Rachel, you don't know."  He then gets all irritated with me, looks over his shoulder (into the empty living room), and says, "Come on, Lance."  Lance, by the way, had been in bed for a couple hours, but David didn't seem to notice as he stalked up the stairs with his invisible son.  I just sat in the living room laughing.  David didn't remember anything the next morning, but he got a good laugh, too when I told him about how he stood up, looked over his shoulder at nothing, and said, "Come on, Lance," and then walked out of the room. 

This Daily Dose totally made me think of my mom (not just because she requested one).  She always falls asleep on the couch, and if you make any noise, she jumps a mile off the couch (yes, a mile), gasps all terrified-like, her wide open bug eyes dart around quickly, and she says something that sounds like, "mmmbbffgggrrmmbbbfff."  It really does sound like that.  If you're really lucky, she shouts out a random word or two like she has tourettes (no foul words, just randomly shouted words).  "Lalala..ladybug!"  I especially love the time the phone rang, and she picked up the TV remote.  The TV went off, on, off, on, off...and when she couldn't figure out how to answer the phone, she put the remote down and went back to sleep.  And I guess that would be a Daily Dose of DeAnn.